230+ Funny Holiday Card Quotes

If you’re looking for funny holiday card quotes, we’ve got you covered with these hilarious and witty options. Whether you want to add some humor to your own holiday greetings or make someone else’s day brighter, these quotes are guaranteed to bring a smile to anyone’s face.

The holiday season is a time for joy, celebration, and spreading laughter. And what better way to do that than through a funny holiday card? Whether you want to tickle someone’s funny bone or simply brighten their day, a witty and clever quote can do the trick.

We have compiled a list of hilarious holiday card quotes that are sure to bring a smile to anyone’s face. So get ready to spread some laughter and joy this holiday season with these funny quotes for your holiday cards.

1. Punny Pals

• “Hoppy holidays to you and your ‘deer’-ly beloved ones!”
• “Don’t get your tinsel in a tangle! Just enjoy the jingle!”
• “Wishing you a ‘paws’-itively purr-fect holiday season!”
• “Have an ‘ice’ day and a cool Yule!”
• “Santa Paws is coming to town! Hope you’ve been ‘paw’-sitively good!”
• “Have a ‘beary’ merry Christmas and a ‘paws’-itively joyful New Year!”
• “Sending you warm ‘bear’ hugs and cozy ‘koala’-ty time this holiday!”
• “Don’t be a cotton-headed ninny muggins! Spread some cheer!”
• “May your days be merry and ‘bright’ like Rudolph’s nose!”
• “Sleigh my name, sleigh my name! Have yourself a merry little Christmas!”
• “Sending you ‘moo’-y Christmas wishes from our herd to yours!”
• “Let’s taco ’bout spreading some holiday cheer!”
• “Wishing you a llama-tastic holiday season!”
• “Stay ‘paws’-itive and keep sleighing the holiday season!”
• “Oh deer, Christmas is here! Let’s make it ‘doe’-lightful!”
• “May your days be as merry as a dancing gingerbread man!”
• “Don’t get your tinsel in a twist! It’s time to sleigh the holidays!”
• “Stay frosty and have a snow ‘bear’-y good time this holiday season!”
• “Here’s to hoping your holiday season is ‘gnome’-tastic!”
• “Wishing you a season sprinkled with joy, laughter, and lots of ‘elf’-y love!”
• “Sending you ‘seal’-y good wishes for a wonderful holiday season!”
• “Let’s make this holiday season ‘llama’-zing together!”
• “Holi-yay! It’s time to jingle all the way!”
• “Have an ‘ice’ time this holiday season!”
• “Hanging out with you makes the holidays ‘grate’!”
• “Sending you warm holiday ‘hugs’ and ‘quiches’!”
• “Wishing you a holiday season filled with ‘purr’-fect moments!”
• “Sleigh all day and sleigh all night! Let’s rock this holiday!”
• “May your holidays be ‘paws’-itively fantastic!”
• “Have a ‘whale’-y great holiday season!”
• “Sending you ‘bunches’ of holiday cheer!”
• “You’re ‘egg’-cellent! Have a cracking good holiday!”
• “Don’t let the holiday season ‘leaf’ you behind!”
• “Have a ‘hoppy’ holiday filled with laughter and joy!”
• “Wishing you a holiday season that’s ‘toad’-ally awesome!”
• “Let’s ‘taco’ ’bout how awesome the holidays are!”
• “Sending you warm holiday wishes, ‘squid’-o!”
• “You’re ‘dino’-mite! Have a roaring good holiday!”
• “Wishing you a holiday season that’s ‘owl’-ways a hoot!”
• “You’re the ‘purr’-fect present! Happy holidays!”
• “Have a ‘whale’-y good time this holiday season!”
• “Don’t be ‘shell’-fish with the holiday cheer!”
• “Have a ‘berry’ merry Christmas and a ‘grape’ New Year!”
• “Sending you holiday wishes hotter than a jalapeno!”
• “Wishing you a holiday season filled with ‘beary’ special moments!”
• “May your holidays be merry and ‘bite’-ful!”
• “You’re ‘otter’-ly awesome! Have a fantastic holiday season!”
• “Sending you ‘koala’-ty holiday vibes!”
• “Have a ‘s’more’-ific holiday season!”
• “Wishing you a holiday season as bright as a firefly’s glow!”

2. Holiday Humor

• “Eat, drink, and be ‘elf’-y!”
• “Santa’s been hitting the ‘sleigh’ too hard!”
• “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas… and by white, I mean sand!”
• “May your days be merry and your in-laws be far away!”
• “It’s the most wine-derful time of the year!”
• “Wishing you a holiday season full of joy, laughter, and awkward family photos!”
• “Tis the season to be ‘jolly’ careful… about how much eggnog you drink!”
• “Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way… to the buffet table!”
• “May your Christmas be merry and your New Year’s resolutions be achievable!”
• “If snowflakes were kisses, I’d send you a blizzard!”
• “Wishing you a holiday season so bright, you’ll need sunglasses!”
• “Let’s eat, drink, and be ‘merry’… because diets start in January!”
• “May your holiday season be as lit as the Christmas tree!”
• “Deck the halls with boughs of holly… or just buy a fake tree and call it a day!”
• “All I want for Christmas is you… to wrap the presents!”
• “Merry Christmas! Here’s to hoping Santa’s reindeer didn’t leave any ‘presents’ on your roof!”
• “Forget the mistletoe, I’m hanging a doughnut over my head!”
• “Wishing you a Christmas full of joy, laughter, and strategically placed figgy pudding!”
• “Santa Claus has the right idea… visit people only once a year!”
• “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas… but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red!”
• “Here’s to surviving another year of awkward family gatherings!”
• “Tis the season to be ‘elfish’… and by ‘elfish,’ I mean give me all the presents!”
• “Wishing you a holiday season so bright, you’ll need to wear shades indoors!”
• “Merry Christmas! May your presents be many and your family drama be minimal!”
• “Let’s get lit… the menorah, that is!”
• “Season’s greetings! May your eggnog be strong and your Wi-Fi signal stronger!”
• “Wishing you a Christmas as bright and shiny as my wrapping skills!”
• “May your days be merry and your credit card bills be minimal!”
• “Merry Christmas! May your cookies be sweet and your fruitcake be nonexistent!”
• “Let’s sleigh all day and night… because sleep is for the new year!”
• “Merry Christmas! May your turkey be moist and your in-laws be… elsewhere!”
• “Wishing you a holiday season filled with joy, laughter, and strategically timed bathroom breaks!”
• “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas… but if the white runs out, I’ll build a sandcastle!”
• “Merry Christmas! May your holiday season be wrapped in joy and tied with ribbon!”
• “Here’s to hoping your holiday season is filled with less fruitcake and more cake!”
• “May your Christmas be as merry as a kid on Christmas morning… and as calm as their parents after a few glasses of eggnog!”
• “Merry Christmas! May your holiday season be full of love, laughter, and way too much pie!”
• “Wishing you a Christmas as bright as Rudolph’s nose and as shiny as tinsel!”
• “Merry Christmas! May your holiday season be merry and your fruitcake be recyclable!”
• “Let’s rock around the Christmas tree… but be careful, it’s probably fake!”
• “Wishing you a holiday season filled with joy, laughter, and strategically placed mistletoe!”
• “Merry Christmas! May your stockings be stuffed and your eggnog be spiked!”
• “Here’s to hoping your holiday season is filled with more cookies than calories!”
• “Tis the season to be ‘elfie’… and by ‘elfie,’ I mean take a lot of selfies with your gifts!”
• “Merry Christmas! May your holiday season be merry and your fruitcake be re-giftable!”
• “Let’s jingle all the way… to the dessert table!”
• “Wishing you a holiday season as bright and shiny as the star on top of the tree!”
• “Merry Christmas! May your holiday season be filled with joy, laughter, and minimal fruitcake!”
• “Here’s to hoping your holiday season is filled with more cheer than awkward family photos!”
• “Merry Christmas! May your holiday season be merry and your fruitcake be used as a doorstop!”

3. Winter Weather Wit

• “Baby, it’s cold outside… but my heart is warm just thinking of you!”
• “Let’s sleigh the day away and ignore the fact that it’s freezing outside!”
• “I’m snow glad we’re friends! Let’s chill together this holiday season!”
• “Wishing you a winter wonderland of warm hugs and hot cocoa!”
• “Baby, it’s cold outside… so let’s stay in, binge-watch holiday movies, and avoid adulting!”
• “May your holiday season be filled with snowflakes and snuggles!”
• “Let’s make like snowflakes and stick together this holiday season!”
• “Wishing you a holiday season so cozy, you’ll feel like a marshmallow in hot chocolate!”
• “Baby, it’s cold outside… but my love for you is warmer than a crackling fireplace!”
• “Here’s to hoping your holiday season is as magical as a snow globe!”
• “Let’s snuggle up by the fire and roast some marshmallows… or just turn up the thermostat!”
• “Wishing you a winter filled with warm blankets, hot drinks, and Netflix marathons!”
• “Baby, it’s cold outside… but I’m colder without you by my side!”
• “May your holiday season be filled with snowflakes, hot cocoa, and no shoveling!”
• “Let’s make like snowflakes and ‘flake’ out together this holiday season!”
• “Wishing you a holiday season as cozy as a fleece blanket!”
• “Baby, it’s cold outside… but my love for you is like a cozy sweater!”
• “Let’s snuggle up and watch the snow fall… from inside the comfort of our warm house!”
• “Wishing you a holiday season filled with warm hearts and toasty toes!”
• “Baby, it’s cold outside… but the fire of friendship keeps us warm!”
• “Let’s make like snowflakes and ‘chill’ together this holiday season!”
• “Wishing you a winter wonderland of laughter, love, and lots of layers!”
• “Baby, it’s cold outside… so let’s stay in and hibernate until spring!”
• “Let’s snuggle up and watch the snowflakes fall… and then promptly fall asleep!”
• “Wishing you a holiday season so warm, you’ll forget it’s winter!”
• “Baby, it’s cold outside… but the thought of you warms me up!”
• “Let’s make like snowflakes and ‘flake’ off any worries this holiday season!”
• “Wishing you a holiday season as cozy as a cup of hot cocoa!”
• “Baby, it’s cold outside… but my heart is melting just thinking of you!”
• “Let’s snuggle up and enjoy the winter wonderland from the comfort of our living room!”
• “Wishing you a holiday season filled with warm memories and frosty noses!”
• “Baby, it’s cold outside… but I’m as warm as a roasted chestnut with you!”
• “Let’s make like snowflakes and ‘chill’ by the fire this holiday season!”
• “Wishing you a winter wonderland of happiness, joy, and fuzzy socks!”
• “Baby, it’s cold outside… but your friendship keeps me warm!”
• “Let’s snuggle up and watch the snow fall… from the safety of our heated blanket fort!”
• “Wishing you a holiday season filled with love, laughter, and lots of layers!”
• “Baby, it’s cold outside… but the thought of holiday cookies warms my soul!”
• “Let’s make like snowflakes and ‘flake’ out on responsibilities this holiday season!”
• “Wishing you a holiday season as warm and cozy as a hug from your favorite teddy bear!”
• “Baby, it’s cold outside… but my love for you is hotter than a yule log!”
• “Let’s snuggle up and watch the snowflakes dance… from the comfort of our heated seats!”
• “Wishing you a winter wonderland of happiness, peace, and plenty of hot beverages!”
• “Baby, it’s cold outside… but the thought of holiday festivities warms my heart!”
• “Let’s make like snowflakes and ‘chill’ with some hot cocoa this holiday season!”
• “Wishing you a holiday season filled with warm memories and cool moments!”
• “Baby, it’s cold outside… but your friendship keeps me cozy!”
• “Let’s snuggle up and watch the snow fall… and then promptly make snow angels!”
• “Wishing you a holiday season as warm and inviting as a crackling fire!”
• “Baby, it’s cold outside… but the thought of holiday cheer keeps me toasty!”

4. Festive Food Funnies

• “Wishing you a holiday season as sweet as a candy cane and as cheesy as a Hallmark movie!”
• “Let’s eat, drink, and be ‘merry’… because diets start in January!”
• “May your holiday season be filled with cookies, cocoa, and lots of carb-loading!”
• “Eat, drink, and be merry… just don’t forget to leave some cookies for Santa!”
• “Let’s sleigh the buffet table this holiday season!”
• “Wishing you a Christmas as merry as a fruitcake… but without the fruitcake!”
• “Here’s to surviving another year of holiday feasts and food comas!”
• “May your holiday season be filled with more cookies than calories!”
• “Let’s make like gingerbread cookies and stay ‘crumb’-lable this holiday season!”
• “Wishing you a holiday season as tasty as a sugar cookie and as festive as a fruitcake!”
• “Eat, drink, and be ‘merry’… because swimsuit season is just around the corner!”
• “May your holiday season be filled with so much pie, you have to loosen your belt a notch!”
• “Let’s make like gingerbread houses and stay ‘sweet’ this holiday season!”
• “Wishing you a Christmas as bright and shiny as a freshly glazed ham!”
• “Here’s to hoping your holiday season is filled with more cheer than calories!”
• “Eat, drink, and be ‘merry’… but maybe skip the fruitcake!”
• “May your holiday season be filled with so much joy, you forget about the extra pounds!”
• “Let’s make like cookies and crumble together this holiday season!”
• “Wishing you a Christmas as merry as a holiday ham and as joyful as a fruitcake!”
• “Here’s to surviving another year of holiday feasts and festive indulgences!”
• “Eat, drink, and be ‘merry’… because calories don’t count during the holidays!”
• “May your holiday season be filled with more cookies than cares!”
• “Let’s make like gingerbread men and stay ‘crisp’ this holiday season!”
• “Wishing you a Christmas as delicious as a yule log and as satisfying as a fruitcake!”
• “Here’s to hoping your holiday season is filled with more joy than jellybeans!”
• “Eat, drink, and be ‘merry’… because holiday weight gain is just a myth, right?”
• “May your holiday season be filled with so much food, you need a second stomach!”
• “Let’s make like candy canes and stay ‘sweet’ this holiday season!”
• “Wishing you a Christmas as bright and joyful as a fruitcake… without the fruitcake!”
• “Here’s to surviving another year of holiday feasts and festive treats!”
• “Eat, drink, and be ‘merry’… because the gym will still be there in January!”
• “May your holiday season be filled with more laughter than leftovers!”
• “Let’s make like gingerbread houses and stay ‘festive’ this holiday season!”
• “Wishing you a Christmas as merry as a fruitcake and as delightful as eggnog!”
• “Here’s to hoping your holiday season is filled with more joy than jellyrolls!”
• “Eat, drink, and be ‘merry’… because calories don’t count when you’re celebrating!”
• “May your holiday season be filled with so much food, you need stretchy pants!”
• “Let’s make like sugar cookies and stay ‘sweet’ this holiday season!”
• “Wishing you a Christmas as bright and cheerful as a fruitcake… minus the fruitcake!”
• “Here’s to surviving another year of holiday feasts and festive indulgences!”
• “Eat, drink, and be ‘merry’… because holiday calories are just holiday cheer in disguise!”
• “May your holiday season be filled with more joy than gingerbread!”
• “Let’s make like candy canes and stay ‘minty’ fresh this holiday season!”
• “Wishing you a Christmas as merry as a fruitcake and as sweet as candy canes!”
• “Here’s to hoping your holiday season is filled with more laughter than leftovers!”
• “Eat, drink, and be ‘merry’… because holiday treats are just too tempting to resist!”
• “May your holiday season be filled with so much food, you need a bigger table!”
• “Let’s make like cookies and stay ‘crispy’ this holiday season!”
• “Wishing you a Christmas as bright and delightful as a fruitcake… without the fruitcake!”
• “Here’s to surviving another year of holiday feasts and festive excesses!”

5. Quirky Quotes

• “May your holidays be as merry as a cat chasing a laser pointer!”
• “Wishing you a holiday season as magical as finding money in last year’s coat pocket!”
• “Let’s make like Santa and ‘sleigh’ this holiday season!”
• “May your Christmas be filled with more laughter than fruitcake crumbs!”
• “Here’s to hoping your holiday season is filled with more joy than fruitcake jokes!”
• “Let’s make like snowflakes and ‘flake’ out on responsibilities this holiday season!”
• “Wishing you a Christmas as merry as a penguin waddling through the snow!”
• “May your holiday season be filled with more cheer than awkward office parties!”
• “Here’s to surviving another year of holiday shopping madness!”
• “Let’s make like mistletoe and ‘hang out’ this holiday season!”
• “Wishing you a holiday season as bright as Rudolph’s nose and as shiny as tinsel!”
• “May your Christmas be merry and your New Year’s resolutions achievable!”
• “Here’s to hoping your holiday season is filled with more joy than fruitcake haters!”
• “Let’s make like Christmas lights and brighten up this holiday season!”
• “Wishing you a Christmas as merry as a squirrel stealing nuts from a snowman!”
• “May your holiday season be filled with more laughter than tangled Christmas lights!”
• “Here’s to surviving another year of holiday music on repeat!”
• “Let’s make like ornaments and hang out together this holiday season!”
• “Wishing you a holiday season as joyful as a puppy chasing its tail!”
• “May your Christmas be merry and your eggnog spiked just right!”
• “Here’s to hoping your holiday season is filled with more fun than fruitcake haters!”
• “Let’s make like snowballs and roll with the punches this holiday season!”
• “Wishing you a Christmas as merry as a polar bear doing the Macarena!”
• “May your holiday season be filled with more peace than shopping mall parking lots!”
• “Here’s to surviving another year of holiday sweater parties!”
• “Let’s make like candy canes and stick together this holiday season!”
• “Wishing you a holiday season as delightful as finding your favorite childhood toy under the tree!”
• “May your Christmas be merry and your fruitcake re-giftable!”
• “Here’s to hoping your holiday season is filled with more joy than fruitcake leftovers!”
• “Let’s make like Santa and spread joy wherever we go this holiday season!”
• “Wishing you a Christmas as merry as a sloth wearing a Santa hat!”
• “May your holiday season be filled with more hugs than holiday traffic!”
• “Here’s to surviving another year of fruitcake jokes at the office!”
• “Let’s make like snowmen and chill out together this holiday season!”
• “Wishing you a holiday season as magical as finding a parking spot at the mall in December!”
• “May your Christmas be merry and your turkey juicy!”
• “Here’s to hoping your holiday season is filled with more joy than fruitcake debates!”
• “Let’s make like gingerbread cookies and stay ‘crumb’-lable this holiday season!”
• “Wishing you a Christmas as merry as a reindeer doing the cha-cha!”
• “Here’s to surviving another year of holiday traffic jams!”
• “Let’s make like snowflakes and ‘flake’ off any worries this holiday season!”
• “Wishing you a holiday season as bright as a Christmas tree and as jolly as Santa himself!”
• “May your Christmas be merry and your fruitcake… well, edible!”
• “Here’s to hoping your holiday season is filled with more cheer than fruitcake skeptics!”
• “Let’s make like mistletoe and hang out together this holiday season!”
• “Wishing you a Christmas as merry as a kangaroo in a Santa suit!”
• “Here’s to surviving another year of holiday gift-giving dilemmas!”
• “Let’s make like snow angels and spread joy wherever we go this holiday season!”
• “Wishing you a holiday season as delightful as finding the last slice of pie in the fridge!”
• “Here’s to surviving another year of fruitcake debates at the dinner table!”

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I hope these funny holiday card quotes bring smiles and laughter to your loved ones. Remember, spreading joy is as easy as sharing a giggle! Whether it’s a witty pun or a quirky joke, let your holiday cards be a beacon of happiness in the festive season. May your days be filled with warmth, laughter, and all the good things this holiday has to offer. So go ahead, pick your favorite quotes, and make this holiday season merry and bright for everyone around you. Happy holidays!